Warning:
This is going to be a very graphic very blunt post.
If you are not into such things, up to seeing that, just move on....
Trust me on this one, if you have eaten in the last hour or so, just... don't look. move on...
If you are weak stomach,squeamish. just do yourself a favor... move on.
ok you been warned.
So I am having problems here. Foot is just a throbbing mess. Very painful, seems no matter what I do, which way I turn, it hurts. Not sleeping very well, NOT getting around well at all. That is the biggest pisser right there. I was told, stay OFF the front part, no pressure, ok got it. I can walk lightly on the heel IF I have to but keep pressure off it. Ok got it.
Well, walking sets off about 20 minutes of searing pain afterwards when I stop walking, so I am not doing much walking if I can help it.
Im dealing with 2 types of pain here it seems. One, let's call flesh pain, which the pain killers can take care of... a little. The other nerve pain, which painkillers won't do a fucking thing for Ive found, but my Gabapentin is knocking that one down fairly decently... thank god.
The problem is, each pill has a diffferent longevity, so I can't just get up at this time, take two pills and be fine. oh no, I got to get up for the pain pill. fine whatever... then a few hours later, the gaba, yawn, ok wasn't sleeping for shit anyways, then this pill, then that pill. It's like every few hours I have to take pills and it gets old real fast. No you can't just double up and make them last longer. Doing so witht he narcotics would be kind of dangerous, and it really doesn't last longer, it just makes you more into a stupor, which is NOT a good thing. Gaba, doesn't work that way either so you can't prolong it, you just use it as directed. Taking more just puts you into more... lets just say... enlightened mental states... and leave it at that...and NO that is NOT necessarily a good thing either.
The entire weekend my bandage was bugging the living shit out of me, every time I moved a bit it'd scrape and scratch and just inflame everything horribly. It was like a little cast they made so i can't really move it.....
or can I.
Every time I DID move, even if it was just rolling over in bed, or trying to find a new position for my leg that hurt just a tiny bit less, the fucking bandage would get hung up on EVERYTHING. THey put these god damned velcro closures on it, which is the worst idea of the century IMO. THey grab everything, get hung up on every thing, TEAR UP everything, it's a BAD IDEA. So for 4 days, this cast is grinding on my wound just inflaming it. Then comes sunday, and I am taking my walking boot off, and the velcro on the boot, grabs the bandage and rips the entire fucker off. The whole thing just finally finishes unraveling and is a twisted mess hanging off the front of my foot.
Ok Aaron, calm down, just put the thing back on.
uhh NO !@! !!! emphatically NO..... This bandage is DISGUSTING !! There is no way I am putting this back on my foot.
It turns out, the thing is NOT a cast they put on my foot, but rather, i was bleeding, and the gauze soaked up all the blood, which then dried, into a hard brittle SHARP like brillo pad / pumice stone feeling mess into the gauze, making it stiff like it was a cast. NO CAST, just blood hardened bandages. So here, all fucking weekend, I am thinking this is a god damned cast they made, not that they just didn't change the fkn bandage when they sent me home, and carefully shoving it back ON my foot to protect it, and enduring the agony it caused me all weekend, every time I moved and it scraped across the top of my foot, Im pretty pissed off at this point. Throw all the blood soaked, now dried and hardened gauze away and find new gauze to wrap my foot with somewhat.
Well my foot now, that's a piece of artwork, holy shit is that thing ugly! Is this normal for this kind of operation or is it just super inflamed because it's been irritated for 4 days straight by a shitty ass blood hardened gauze pad constantly scraping on it like a brillo?
So I call my doctor first thing monday, explain to them that the bandage fell apart over the weekend and it needs an entire re wrrap. They seem very less that concerned, and said, ok come in tomorrow at 9 am. So tomorrow I go in to let them see what's gong on, and rewrap it.
The good thing is, the bleeding is pretty much stopped, so that should not be a problem, BUT.. I noticed while poking around. one of my toes is totally, dead. I can't feel a thing on it / with it. Ok, did they cut a nerve during the surgery? will it eventurally grow back and be normal, cool. Will it grow back but be unuseable, some feeling, just a flappy meat slap.. ok whatever, it's the toe next to the big one, I think I can still work with that even if it is 'crippled'. It should not make walking that much more difficult and racing motorcycles, I just need to lean and press, no real articulation on the toes needed, so shouldn't hurt me there.
BUT.. what if it's on the way to kicking the bucket and is going to end up coming off? Now what? In other words, what's going on here? So I have to wait to tomorrow to get any inputs on THAT. and a new wrap.
Now that the blood brillo pad is not scouring the top of my foot every movement, a significant amount of the pain is gone BUT, now the throbbing pain is showing superbly, and THAT one is really annoying. There is a post that goes clean thru my foot, out the bottom and to the front. Any time you move at all, this lets you know it's there as it presses on all the bone structure.
Let's see what tomorrow brings.
THEN there is the coffee. Man, this site IS alive, but I can't say it is well, it hasn't been well all year. I want to with all my heart sell my coffee's, it's a passion and I LOVE it but it just seems like life has been throwing me one curve ball after another to get in the way of that! Just when I get the cancer thing under control, now this happens!
I really thought Id be able to keep selling and get some distributions going while I was healing thru this. I physically can't, and THAT I think is what pisses me off more than anything. I feel like I am letting people down, because I keep promising and promising coffee and here we are,just another excuse and no coffee.
I don't want people to think I am making up shit here, so will post a picture of my foot after surgery BUT warn you, it's not pretty. I also want to post this to let you actually SEE what I am dealing with here and am not just being a pussy on the can't walk thing.
July 2 the screws come out and the post thru the bottom of my foot comes out. Hopefully the pain dies down a bit, and I can start walking a little better afterwards.
Right now my orders are pretty slowed to a crawl and that is ok for the time being, it gives me time to heal, and YES I CAN get one here one there so it's not a game killer for now. But I DO need to get these coffee's up and sold eventually.
Im thinking Ill use this week to try to get all my cuppings done, and everything set up for a huge sale, and when I can start again, it's all good to go, just move the announcements to the proper thread and off we go.
time will tell.
Again, I thank every one of you for sticking around with us over the years, especially this last one or so, we are not dead, just temporarily slowed down.
The day I stop coffee is the day you'll need to give me my last pot of it, via an embalming procedure. YES, I want to be embalmed with coffee, as one last cup of excellence to send me on my way !!
ok whatever aaron, go back to bed, your meds are kicking in.
Take care everyone,love ya all. ill let you know what tomorrow brings after the doctor / hospital visit.
Aaron
Picture Below.
Warning it's ugly. you probably should just stop now.
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ok you were warned
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you asked for it, you got it.
